Crab Mayo
Scene Introduction Yuuji recalls his ‘middle school’ days in America where he managed to pick up a lot of strange nicknames from his ‘classmates’. There were the predictable names like “Jap” and “Shorty”, as well as names like “KZ”. However, among his numerous nicknames, the only one that managed to stick throughout basic training was “Gar”. Short for “Garbage Eater”. It wasn’t that Yuuji had a reputation for dumpster diving or anything, he was simply very tolerant of shitty food. As for how Yuuji earned the title he simply ate the meals, that most considered to be slop unfit for pigs, that the KP made without grimacing. Freeze-dried scrambled eggs, pork and beans made from scraps of ham, bread with peanut butter, and ridiculously stringy meat were the staples. Every single one of them had a strange chemical after-taste, and they were all disgusting. There was even a popular rumour going around that the secret ingredient was gasoline. The KP also served a cake for dessert which was commonly, and more accurately, described as a desert. This cake was legendary for being inedible. No matter how hungry you were, any attempt to eat this cake would result in there being a dry lump stuck in your throat. However, Yuuji would eat this too without complaint. Yuuji had never been a picky eater, most likely due to having lived rough from a young age, and didn’t particularly care about what he was eating so long as his body was getting the appropriate nutrients. Yuuji supposes that the people around him must have seen him as some kind of freak because of this. Yuuji wonders what he should eat today while thinking about the past. To be honest, Yuuji doesn’t particularly feel like eating, but forces himself to have three meals at set times during the day so as to not mess with his body’s internal clock and make himself more susceptible to fatigue. Yuuji views eating as nothing more than an element of maintaining his physical condition and, therefore, as a nuisance. Because of this, Yuuji tends to end up simply throwing something together from his supply of dried and canned food. Yuuji’s thoughts are interrupted by Amane, who simply barges into his room. Upon seeing him, Amane comments that he was in here after all. Yuuji says that this is obvious, considering that this is his room. Yuuji notes that Amane simply enters his room whenever she wants to without even bothering to knock, as though she owned the place. Unfortunately, Yuuji seems to be getting rather used to it. It was probably due to Yuuji receiving emergency summons fairly frequently that Amane’s intrusions never really bothered him much in the first place. Amane complains to Yuuji, she had told him to come up to her room for dinner at seven. She and Makina were kept waiting in front of the food, why didn’t he show up? Yuuji notes that Amane is carrying a plate of crab legs in her hands as she talks. Amane continues, telling Yuuji that he was supposed to help them eat the crabs that she had gotten from home. Yuuji does recall that sort of conversation but Yuuji also recalls saying that he would be there if he felt like it, not that he would definitely be there. When he reminds Amane of this, she asks him if he hates crab or something. Yuuji responds that that’s not really it, which causes Amane to ask him if it’s the shells. It’s too much of a bother, isn’t it? Makina is the same way, she refuses to eat the crab unless she peels the shells off for her. On top of that, after she had cracked it all open for her, Makina started yelling about a new invention and started wrapping the crab inside some bread. Amane concludes by complaining that Makina simply doesn’t know the value of things. After all that, Makina even had the nerve to announce that fish paste is tastier. Yuuji tells Amane that it’s likely that Makina simply places more importance on how easy something is to eat. Honestly, Yuuji admits that he’d rather eat fish paste than crab himself. Amane says that both Yuuji and Makina disappoint her, there are plenty of kids out there who can’t eat even if they want to. Yuuji replies that he knows that. This causes Amane to say that he should stop complaining then, she’ll even peel the shells for him. Yuuji notes that he wasn’t really complaining, and that he can take care of the shells by himself… Amane interrupts Yuuji by asking what he was even planning to eat if she hadn’t shown up in the first place and wanders into his kitchen to begin examining things as she pleases. She sees some cooked rice, which impresses her, until she notices how stiff the rice is and asks how long ago he cooked it. She also spots some half-empty canned food, fish sticks and mayonnaise, lettuce and spinach, and… Some canned pickled radish? Amane wonders where Yuuji even bought that thing. Yuuji wonders why he finds this experience to be somewhat embarrassing, it isn’t as though he has anything to be ashamed of. If anything, Amane should be the one feeling embarrassed. Where does she get off calling canned pickled radish “That thing”? It’s well known among canned food connoisseurs as “almost decent” and “pretty much edible!” As Yuuji burns with silent indignation, Amane begins running tap water into his rice cooker. Yuuji asks what she’s doing, and Amane replies that she’s adding moisture to his rice since it’s gotten all hard. Yuuji says that he doesn’t really care if it’s hard. Yuuji mentally continues that this is because he’s used to eating canned food that comes out as arid and stiff as a wax candle.